Okay, I am receiving some personal emails requesting I post on relationships and relationship red flags…………
No problem! I have some strong opinions on this subject and I am more than happy to give my opinion.
Okay here is my list of red flag questions……….
Does your partner get mad over stupid things?
Do you no longer hang out with your friends?
If you do hang out with your friends does your partner get mad?
When you got married did your partner completely change? Example: Your partner fell in love with you because you were fun and outgoing – now your partner no longer wants you to be fun and outgoing.
Does your partner control where you work?
Does your partner control whether or not you have a Facebook page?
Does your partner erase the family computer’s history after using it? Why would they do that unless there is something to hide?
Does your partner check your computer’s history? Why would your partner do that? Hmmmm………………….
Does your partner not let their cell phone out of their sight when you are around?
Does your partner snoop through your car, purse, wallet or cell phone?
Do you have to ask your partner for money and do you have to explain why you need it?
Do you have to defend why you do or do not want to do something or go somewhere?
Does your partner treat his or her friends and family better than you?
Did your partner stop listening to you talk?
Does your partner talk about themselves and expect you to listen but not care about what you are interested in?
Does your partner have a better relationship with a member of the opposite sex who is not a family friend or not related than they do with you?
Does your partner let their mother/father treat you bad?
Does your partner talk down to you?
Does your partner make all of the decisions?
Does your partner control the money and the household?
Does your partner disagree with everything you say just to disagree?
Does your partner sympathize with you when you’re upset or ignore you and hope what ever is upsetting you doesn’t last very long because they want sex?
Does you partner think sex is 100% of the relationship?
Does your partner talk down to you in front of others or your kids?
Does you partner complain about you to friends or family?
Does your partner undermine you in front of others or your kids?
Are you no longer mentally or physically attracted to your partner because of the way they treat you?
These are some very important questions and if you can answer “yes” to any of these questions then you are probably heading down the wrong road. If you don’t do something about it now you will end up divorced. It is sad but so, so true! You are your own person and no one else has the right to treat you bad or tell you what you can or cannot do. Your partner has no right trying to change who you are.
If you have kids you both have to make decisions based on compromise. If your partner disrespects or undermines you in front of your kids then your kids will do the same.
If your partner goes snooping through your things usually means they are hiding something themselves – they are guilty and they are hoping they will find you doing something wrong to make themselves feel less guilty.
There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex. There is a problem when your partner has a friend of the opposite sex that you have never met and they are doing things together with out you.
When your partner bad-mouths you to their family it automatically changes their opinion of you because they are going to side with family. This can cause a huge problem. If you are angry with your partner don’t call your mom or dad, instead call your best friend and vent. Every one needs to vent to someone but not a family member.
If your partner does not take up for you to his or her mom you have a huge problem especially when you are married. You should never let your family disrespect your partner – it’s wrong!
I am not an expert on relationships – trust me! These are just my opinions.
If you are depressed or miserable in your relationship and you have tried to make things work but have been unsuccessful then you need to think about counseling. If your partner refuses to go then you are probably going to divorce or break-up.
If your partner tells you over and over that they will change but they never do then you will never be happy and only more and more disappointment is in your future. A leopard doesn’t change their spots – just something to think about.
I would like to know what you think are some definite red flags in a relationship or marriage.
Do you think you can rebuild a good relationship after your partner has cheated? Can you get that trusting feeling back after your partner has cheated or lied? Does your partner deserve a second chance after cheating on you?
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Great but eye-opening post. Another relationship red flag worth noting is if a boyfriend or husband pressures or forces a woman to have sex. I have a friend who had a crappy boyfriend that tried to pressure her to sleep with him. She stood her ground by breaking up with him rather bowing to him when she found that he two-timed her on many girls in our hometown (that guy is a medical graduate for crying loud!). These kind of guys make me mad. If I were my friend’s sister and get hold of that guy, I’d break his legs and give him a piece of my mind.
Addys Opinion said:
I don’t know what it is with men and sex. Men do not understand that we aren’t just play things. We have to be romanced. Men can just jump into the bed with a woman but a woman needs to feel loved. At least I do. A man cannot treat me like crap and then expect me to jump into the bed with him.
I have heard enough about make-up sex! There is no such thing as make-up sex in my book – you make me mad you better leave me alone for a few days and then your lucky if you get it at all! HaHa
You’ve nailed it.
Relationships are as unique as individuals, but the red flags of abusive relationships are universal. And although they’re counter-intuitive, they have been decoded and they can be learned. Here’s a textbook example (and what I experienced):
They are the art of the con wrapped in the illusion of love. He is charismatic to the core, his manners are fine and he is maybe the most wonderful man you’ve ever encountered. This is the first red flag.
It feels so right, the passion is high and it can’t happen fast enough. This is the second red flag.
When he talks about the days ahead it’s like he’s read your mind, discerned all your unspoken dreams and tied a big bow around a bouquet of them. This is the third red flag.
He wants you all to himself. He doesn’t want to share you with the world, at least for a little while. He prevails upon you to move, to quit working, to take a break from things. This is the fourth red flag.
Does this ring any bells?
Addys Opinion said:
Sounds to me like a control freak! He had his own plans and tried to sugar coat with a bunch of lip service – I hate lip service!!! Thanks for reading!